Imagine with me if you will, before heading to bed one evening you check the weather to find that a large snow storm is expected. You don’t know if you should be excited or concerned. The snow is beautiful and it’s fun to play in, but it can definitely set you back in the morning, shoveling, driving with extra caution, extra layers of clothing, etc. You prepare as well as you can, you check for your gloves, snow boots, snow shovel, you even use de-icer on your windshield. You go to bed prepared to wake up to a blanket of white fluffy snow. However when you wake the next morning, you feel refreshed, like you have slept a lot. You have, you over slept because the power went out over night, your alarm clock is off. You look outside, there is no snow anywhere in sight. There was a storm over night, but it did not bring snow, it brought wind and a lot of it, it brought debris, leaves everywhere, trees toppled over. You walk out your door and see a tree toppled over in your driveway, thankfully it missed your car, but it is blocking you in the driveway. You had thoughtfully and carefully prepared for a storm, just not the right storm.
This is exactly how my husband and I felt when we went up to OHSU for my first post operative appointment on Thursday. We knew we were going to get the final pathology from the tissue that was removed during my surgery just 10 days prior. We were also hopeful that I would have the drains removed. My husband and I discussed the potential outcomes of the pathology. My very thorough doctor was optimistic, she hadn’t seen anything of additional concern during the surgery, none of my scans had shown any additional concern, so we were cautiously optimistic, with good reason to be. However, my situation is rare, nothing has gone as expected along the way, so we still felt that we should be somewhat prepared for the possibility that I may have to do chemo or radiation. To be honest, I don’t really know how to prepare for that information, other than to know that we could potentially hear it. So this is what we tried to prepare ourselves for. We prepared for snow, hoping for the beauty and excitement of a light dusting. We had know idea we were in for a crazy windstorm that would topple trees. The good news is that they did not find any additional types of cancer, my lymph nodes are clear, so the cancer has not spread. Yay! This is amazing news, no chemo, no radiation. However the cancer was more widespread and extensive on my left side than what was expected. Doctors like a 2 mm difference between the cancerous tissue that they remove and the healthy tissue that is left, and in my case with the cancer being more widespread there was an area where there is less than a 1 mm clearance. So, what that means is that I have to go back in for surgery on my left side again, on Monday, September 25.
More Surgery!!!
I’m sure you can imagine that this was shocking and upsetting for my husband and I to hear. As I said, we had no idea to prepare for this outcome. We of course are thrilled and feel so blessed that I will not have to go through chemotherapy or radiation. It is incredible that my lymph nodes are clear. This is all great news, however having to go right back in for another surgery and start the recovery process over is daunting, frustrating and scary.
You, my champions, my friends, my family and our amazing support have been incredible through all of this. We have been blessed with sweet emails, fantastic meals, and thoughtful gifts. You have loved us well. We thank you for your prayers, your warm and well wishes and we ask that you keep them coming, please. My surgery is at 7:00am on Monday and should be quite a bit shorter this time, maybe 3 hours in total rather than the 9 hours of the last surgery. We will get up early and drive up to Portland that morning, my husband will be there by himself, waiting… I’m certain that he will continue to update everyone this time, just as he did 2 weeks prior.
This has been an interesting situation for me, it’s difficult being the one that needs help. I’ve spent much of the past 2 weeks depending on my sweet, strong and phenomenal husband for everything. I can’t really use my arms to push, pull or even help me get up or sit down. So when I say everything, please know that I mean everything; I can’t even bend over to pick something up off of the floor, it puts too much pressure on the drains. I can not even raise my arms above my head. I am used to being the one that takes care of others and does the helping. I know that this recovery period is a short period of time in the grand scheme of things but it really has been a humbling experience. So many of you have reached out to bring meals or ask how you can help, thank you. Thank you for reaching out, thank you for your generosity. We would love and appreciate your prayers above. all else, for me and my recovery, for my upcoming surgery. For my husband, who is working full time while taking care of me and my every single need and for my sweet babies that are going through this as well. I can only imagine how scary it must be for them to see their mommy going through this, they have been brave and oh so sweet.
We also have a meal train, where you can help in 3 different ways, you can provide a meal (home made or take out), you can add to our account at Tate and Tate which is another meal option or you can give monetarily through the meal train, those funds go to help with our travel expenses for our regular appointments at OHSU in Portland. And of course I would never turn away a coconut milk mocha with whip…
Also, your text messages, instant messages, posts and replies mean so much to my husband and I, your encouragement carries us a long way on a hard day so please keep them coming. Thank you for your love, for your prayers and for being our champions! Much Love, Genevieve and Fred Williams
